words through meg

A Typical Yearly Review

2012-01-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy.

January: This was a big month. In December of 2010 it was confirmed that I was going to marry one mister Colten T. Hoth. So when January rolled around so did the rings. We were a little disappointed with what we were finding and what we were trying to have custom made...but then one day my dearest husband-to-be found the perfect one and was kind enough to show it to me before he bought it. I swooned the second I saw it.

It's much more sparkly in real life.

February: We began the month with a lovely, simple Valentine's day that consisted of heart shaped breakfast from me and a sweet little card from my fiance. If you haven't guessed already a proposal ended up following ring shopping (Luckily not on Valentines day). I was taken atop a mountain to a lovely gazebo. Some lovely things were said to me. I don't think I really said much besides a "Eeee!" that was supposed to be interpreted as a "yes" and the rest is history.

March: We went on a date to the hip-hop version of Romeo and Juliet (my Christmas present to Colten) and absolutely loved it. And later in the month we had the lovely opportunity to celebrate my dear friend Steph's sealing to her husband and adorable baby William. I was so proud of her and happy that she has created such a beautiful little family! We also welcomed home Baby Jaden from his mission. I had never met him and was completely creeped out by the fact that he had the exact same personality as Colten but looked completely opposite. It still weirds me out.

April: It was my birthday! Just kidding my birthdays don't mean the world to me, I was just happy to spend time with my family. We took our engagement pictures which ended up being the funnest thing we did to plan for our wedding. I watched my husband baptize one of his co-workers and felt so grateful to have him as such a strong example of the gospel in my life. And we were able to go see a Real Salt Lake game which was our first date. Lots of love this month.

May: This month was filled with lots of emotions! It began with moving away from my roommates. We'd lived together three years and I cannot think of any better girls I could have lived with. I was living on my own which scared the crap out of me every night and was desperately missing watching trashy TV with my friends every night. I graduated from college which was an odd feeling of accomplishment/what the heck do I do now. We also celebrated Colten's birthday and I had my first bridal shower (which I was entirely awkward at, forgive me).

June: Probably the biggest month of my life to date. It started by taking out my endowments and feeling so grateful for my religion and my life. Then we celebrated Jackie and Travis' wedding and loved seeing old friends. But onto the most important thing...WE GOT MARRIED. Incase you didn't know. It was a lovely stress filled day that was oozing with love and happiness. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved being with my whole family all day and I loved being in love with a man in a handsome tux. We then jetted off together to the white beaches of Cancun where we spent a week with only each other and no work (I don't know if you comprehend how happy we were to not have work). Seriously this was an awesome month. A paragraph doesn't to it justice. But I won't bore you.

July and August: I'm combining them because they were two months filled with enjoying being married and spending time with our family. We kissed under fireworks on the fourth. Went to a Bee's game with my family where we saw more fireworks. Were able to go boating with the Devers. And spent a long weekend in Bear Lake with the Morrell family and the Nelson family over Raspberry Days. It was a lovely way to send out the summer.

September: This month we took two awesome trips: one to Park City and one to Iowa. Our Park City trip was needed break with just the two of us. We had a blast. A hotel room with a private hot tub, beautiful fall leaves, walking around main street in the City, the Alpine slide and coaster and just loving being together. Marriage is awesome. We then ran off to Iowa with the Devers to visit Baby Jaden who was out playing soccer at Iowa Western. It was a packed weekend but we had fun just being with the family.

October: I started a new job at Down Under Sports, kept my old job at firehouse and Colten started an amazing internship at RR Donnelly. So we pretty much worked all day everyday this whole month. We were able to go play in the mountains and go to the corn maze to make our lives feel a little more fallish.

November: We had a lovely opportunity this month to attend the sealing of Colten's dad to his daughter and new wife Kim. Last year when I was first dating Colten I attended their wedding and then this year his dad was a witness at our sealing and then Colten was a witness at his dad's. It was a really neat experience to watch a family become eternal. We also got our first taste of how crazy holidays are going to be now that we are married. We ended up making it to three families all in Thanksgiving day.

December: December ended our year beautifully. We spent a lot of time with our family this month and it was wonderful. We were able to see temple square and go ice skating with our friends and we went to the USU bowl game with my grandpa. Unfortunately my great-grandma Ida passed away the week before Christmas. She lived a full, beautiful life. We were able to be with every family for Christmas and it just made me appreciate the close relationships I have with them.

My wonderful husband gave me a locket with a little picture of us in it for Christmas. I loved it.

Overall: My year was lovely. It had it's ups and downs. The first 6 months of being married had it's rough times. I was really sad for awhile about my job situation. But overall I look back at the love and family and friendships I had. That is what sticks out to me. I'm grateful for the people I have in my life and for how much they mean to me. I can't wait to start a new year with new trials and triumphs. I have some goals, but I'm not one for making resolutions so they will just stay in my head for now.

Dear Black Friday,

2011-11-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

I used to enjoy you in a non-crazy sort of way. The mom and I would wake up, grab a starbucks steamer and chi tea and then would chill in our sweats in the Target parking lot while watching all the herds of people pass us.

Eventually we'd mozy on in, grab a couple $5 dvd's, maybe a shirt or two and then we were done. It was a tradition, it was bonding time, it was relaxed.

But lately I've grown to hate you.

After the last couple hears I've heard some really horrible things that make me question the morality of humanity. Especially this year. A woman pepper sprays a crowd, a man gets stabbed waiting in line, another has a heart attack as people walk on, a grandpa gets knocked unconscious and lays in his own pool of blood, a shopper gets shot in a robbery attempt.

Now I'm a little bit of a believer in energy. And to me, when you have to pepper spray a crowd to get a present I truly believe that you are giving that bad energy with that present.

I get it. Times are tough, you look for deals. But for me, I would rather work a couple extra shifts to give the perfect gift to someone that might be a couple dollars more. Or I would rather get someone something entirely different than have to go to battle with peppers sprayers and stabbers.

So ultimately thank you Black Friday for helping me see what is truly important about giving a gift to someone. And for reminding me that Christmas is really about our Savoir, our families, yummy food, and good memories. Not about giving a gift that you had to pay for with your morals.

Love,
Megan

An update of sorts?

2011-11-21T14:33:00.001-07:00

So...I've been told certain family members of mine are in a tissy fit over the lack of posts on my blog. So here it goes.

-I have a new job. No this doesn't mean I'm done with Firehouse (I wish). I work at Down Under Sports. They invite high school athletes to go on trips to Australia and Hawaii over the summer. I work with the head accountant and I pretty much make up the Accounts Receivable department. I process all of the payments that come through. Update student accounts, and pretty much do random reports and forms and stuff. It's good. Definitely keeps me busy. But working every morning and every night is exhausting.

-I broke the cardinal rule of Thanksgiving. My christmas tree is up and decorated (go ahead and judge me). But I've compromised and no other decorations are going up until after Thursday. A big thanks to my aunt Dena, she kindly gave us her old tree! I was worried about Christmas being boring in our little apartment due to lack of funding for christmas decorations. But thanks to some great deals at Hobby Lobby and Michael's we were able to fully decorate our tree. I just love it. We are minus a tree-topper (I made a giant bow for now) and a tree skirt (which is soon to come from my mom). But here it is. Im in love.

-I've been enjoying getting to know this creature named Colten. Since I work 9am-1:30 and 5-10:30pm and he's at school/work from 7am-5pm we've had to get used to our odd hours we get to spend with each other and the lack of hours we have to spend with family and friends. Good thing I married one interesting/funny/good looking/awesome/dorky guy. Otherwise I'd be bored out of my mind by now with it just being the two of us. Here are some of our adventures from the last month:

We went to Park City in September. Probably one of the coolest things we've done together so far. We found a great deal on a hotel and just went up for a night to relax.

We're fully clothed underneath don't worry.

Totally had our own hot tub on our own balcony.

We played on the alpine slide and coaster!

The trees were so pretty. Perfect time to go.

In October we went out with Colten's family to go watch his brother Jaden play soccer. A short, busy trip but we ended up having a lot of fun.

This is in the historic part of Omaha.

Jaden, Colten, Me, Chelise

This is what happens when you put us in a giant antique/candy shop. Don't mind the hideous lighting and shadows on my face.

There was also a giant slide in the middle of the city. Some kind people lent us some wax paper to ride down on which resulted in some injuries...

We went to the zoo! I've been wanting to go to the zoo for the longest time! But, this zoo did not have elephants. I was sorely disappointed.

I wanted to take advantage of the fall prettiness so I drug Colten up the canyon one Sunday and this is what resulted. (These pictures don't include Colten prancing through the wilderness imitating a deer)

I wanted this to be our Christmas card picture

So chivalrous, helping me over a crack.

We decided to go to a corn maze one Saturday, and we also decided despite being 22/23-year-old adults we really don't like scary things.

-And last but not least, we had the wonderful opportunity to be a part of the sealing of Colten's dad, Tracy, and his new step-mom Kim. They got married last year on 10/10/2010 (which was the first time I met his whole family and we had only been dating a month. Was I nervous? Yes.) and this year at the very last second they got the approval to be sealed on 11/11/2011.

It was really neat being there to witness their family being sealed for eternity. I was sealed to my family when I was 8 and have considered it a very special thing (I've been sealed twice!). It also was a sweet reminder of the promises I made to my husband and the promises that were made to us if we are faithful. Plus I was just overwhelmed with love for my redhead.

Things

2011-11-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

Things I Miss:

-Seeing my friends everyday

-Having a normal job

-My dog

-School (yes it's true)

-Watching copious amounts of The Office whenever we wanted

-My little brother

-New York City

Things I Love:

-Weekend shopping days with my mom (Even though we both hate shopping)

-The Holidays

-Being able to cuddle with my husband when it's cold

-Pretzel Crisps

-Knowing I get to spend lots of time with my family these next two months

-The Conference Ensign

-Next Iron Chef: Super Stars

Things That are Funny

-My life

-The people in my life

-Me

My Dress

2011-10-14T22:25:00.000-06:00

So yes, I've been absent. It's been a tough couple of weeks. But life is still good. I just haven't had the bug to write lately. But for some reason, I want to write about my wedding dress tonight. So deal with it.

I"m watching "Say yes to the dress" right now. I watched it before my wedding and I still do. It's one of those shows that you turn on when nothing else is on and you can just have it on in the background while you're doing other stuff.

I have some issues with a lot of people on the show. $20,000 on a dress? Really? I get it, you have money to spend. But you really can't find a dress that's cheaper and think of a better use? Plus it just shows to me what your wedding is really focused on. (Yes I'm making judgements by only watching these people on a half hour TV show).

It also breaks my heart when girls go on this show, find amazing dresses, and then walk away because they didn't have "the moment." So here's where my story comes into play.

My dress shopping consisted of one day. It started with a bridal show I went to with my mom in like January. While we were there at the David's Bridal booth if you signed up for a dress fitting appointment that day you got a $50 gift card. Being the budget conscious bride I was, I said yes. I had a couple of dresses I'd already picked out on their website so I thought this was perfect.

Well fast forward a month and a half and our appointment day had come. I raced down from Logan after work and we were just planning on going to only David's Bridal and to do more serious shopping in weeks to come.

The dress I'd always envisioned myself in was lace. I wasn't ever one of those girls who had her whole wedding planned out, but this was the ones thing I knew. Lace, all lace, simple, elegant.

Well let me tell ya, lace is expensive. And so are alterations to cover up garments. So after a couple of hours in Davids Bridal, a few dresses we liked but were unsure of how the alterations would turn out, we left discouraged and frustrated. Then my neighbor called. Her sister works for a Bridal designer and suggested a store to go to in South Salt Lake. They had one appointment left that day and if we raced down we could make it in time. We were told that they had very cheap dresses and that their alterations were half the price of David's Bridal (who wanted over $400 in alterations fees!).

We walk in, tell our consultant my price range and she just goes "Oh...". Not a good sign. All of their lace dresses were more than David's Bridal. I was sad. Our poor consultant could tell I was defeated and had me try on anything and everything. Satin dresses that were beautiful, but just not me. Pick up dresses that looked like a high school prom. And everything in-between.

I'd had it. I went into the dressing room, put my clothes and black boots on and just sat and stewed in my frustration. Then my mom knocked on the door. She had this dress that was horendous. I'd seen it on the sales rack and passed over it 3 times. It was long sleeve, poufy, and just ugh. But despite my angst, my mom made me put the dress on. I was so bugged that I refused to take off my jeans and boots.

As I came stomping out of the dressing room with my black boots peeking out from under the dress I was holding up and egrudgingly stepped up on the platform.

And then we started pinning and tucking and rolling. And soon the dress started to change. Soon I had this picture in my head. We took huge cable clamps and made the poufy slip not so poofy. We scrunched the sleeves up so they weren't long sleeved. We tucked the straps in so they didn't poke up off my itty bitty shoulders. And soon I could start to see it.

Then the store started closing. Our sweet consultant idn't rush us and stayed and hour after as we started to decide. I wasn't sure. There were so many alterations that needed to be done that I wasn't positive it would turn out to be something pretty and not a disaster. And I really struggled with not having that moment. Because this dress had been on sale for so long and still hadn't sold, they decided to give us an extra $100 off. Did that sway me slightly...maybe. Was I really trying to stay within a reasonable budget...most definitely.

So as my mom and I sat in a closed store debating back and forth, not believing that we could possibly be buying a wedding dress on our first day of shopping, wondering if we really should have had a moment of crying and freaking out, we just went with it.

We bought the dress.

We didn't even take a picture of the dress on me that's how unsure we were at first. And on the ride home I had a slight panic attack that it was going to be awful. As soon as I got home I showed my brother and dad the picture of the dress on the hanger, explained my vision, and waiting for reassurance. It didn't come. Instead I got weird looks and a skeptical "OK".

But after a couple months, maybe some tears, many alterations appointments and reassurance by my mom (who I think was freaking out just as much as I was at the time), we felt good about our choice. And can I just say I think we made the best choice.

My dress ended up being perfect for what I wanted. It had my lace. It had my elegance. I felt pretty in it. And as an added bonus it was unique, actually it was truly one of a kind.

I learned that I got lucky. I didn't have to go through days of frustration. I learned that I'm not a "moment" type of person. I think even if my dress would have looked how it does now when I first tried it on I wouldn't have cried and immediately said "This is my dress." I learned that I'm glad I only took my mom. I kept what my dress looked like a secret from everyone for quite awhile until a lot of alterations had been done. I didn't want to question my decision based on other people's opinions. And most importantly I learned that it was important that I stuck to what I wanted and not what's trendy. I had been pressured into the typical satin ball gown dress or a big dress with ruffles and it just wasn't me.

Besides marrying an amazing man for eternity, my dress was probably my most favorite thing about June 18th, 2011.

So now for some pictures (sorry if this post is way too "look at me!" but I really loved my dress)

Loved the 3/4 sleeves

Lace!

I ended up loving how the lace was separate from the dress

I adored the raw lace edge around the neckline

It had a train (which I didn't want) but I think it fit perfectly

The buttons, yes.

Ya I decided this post is kind of conceded. I apologize you had to suffer though it.

3 Month Recap

2011-09-21T21:27:00.000-06:00

So I've been married 3 months and 3 days. Here's a recap of married life (because I know you're all dying to know):

-The husband doesn't leave dirty socks on the floor or the toilet seat up

-We go through ridiculous amounts of cereal

-The hubs is finally escaping from Firehouse, he starts a way cool big-boy internship in two weeks

-We're taking a romantic lovers getaway to Park City this weekend

-We're pretty much obsessed with the Food Network

-We've officially watched 115 episodes of the Office this summer

-I can't believe how incredibly happy I am

-In a week and a half we will be visiting the enthralling state of Iowa (more to come)

-I still haven't journaled about the wedding...oops

-We've cooked 7 official meals

-We're tired of Firehouse

Today...

2011-09-10T18:07:00.002-06:00

...I ate a pumpkin chocolate-chip muffin. And it was delicious.

This is my official start of fall.

My Journal

2011-09-09T16:02:00.000-06:00

For a writer, I've always been bad about writing in my journal (or my blog). Growing up I wasn't always honest with it (I wasn't afraid about my parents finding it I was more afraid about it being like a pioneer journal that generations later it got out and people read it.) Plus I always procrastinated.

If you look back at journals from my youth (haha as if I'm old) on important events like yearbook camp or youth conference or stuff that takes multiple pages to document, many of the events are halfway written out and then a couple of blank pages follow and then another event starts. This is because i never had enough patience to sit down and complete the story. So I left myself a couple pages to eventually go back and finish. That "eventually" almost never happened.

So now we get to modern times. I've been married for 2 months and 19 days. I have yet to journal about my wedding. Or my honeymoon. Or about life thereafter. In fact I keep thinking of things to write about but don't want to until I'm done with wedding stuff, so I've started a list.

But what worries me is that somewhere along my collegiate career, I learned that any memory we recall is no longer fact but fiction. Even seconds after something happened, how we perceived it, how it entered our brain, and how we spit it back out all becomes sort of jumbled and we end up recreating our own event.

So I'm hoping that when I finally get around to my "eventually" my memories and happiness and love of that wonderful week will trump my sometimes (ok maybe often) faulty memory. And that I will have a complete recollection of my married life for those future generations that may someday mock me. (I'm telling you it's a real fear of mine)

School Started

2011-09-01T19:38:00.000-06:00

And it feels weird not to be part of the whole college experience. I almost feel like everyone is keeping a secret from me.

But the husband is still in that world. Which leaves me working part time at Firehouse. Which leaves me bored and watching re-runs at home most of the day. I've already decided to redo my living room. As much as a white-walled, low budget living room can be redone. And that project is almost complete. So I need a hobby.

I may join a book club, but I'd feel sorta house-wifey. Not in a good way. I got a library card to read more, then remembered the silence kind of makes me feel awkward. Plus libraries usually have one copy of a popular book. And I don't like waiting.

So I've resulted to spray painting random objects, running "errands" which is really going to craft stores looking at stuff I wish I had the money to justify buying, and slowly but surely creating a custom made butt print in my couch.

Haha I swear I'm not that lazy. I just need a new job. Cross your fingers.

My Husband.

2011-08-28T22:41:00.000-06:00

Let me take a moment to share a story.

Yesterday Colten had a soccer game. Me, along with probably 5 or 6 of our close friends, went to watch the USU summer championship game. It was heated, tense, and came down to a shoot out where USU ended up winning. During the middle of the game Colten was slide-tackled and his ankle was taken out. This happens to be the ankle that was broken during a soccer game four years ago and is now home to two screws. He gets called off the field. I, being the good wife I try so hard to be, supply the ibuprofen and he's back on the field.

Fast forward a long hour and the game is over. I get up to go check on my injured other half as the team comes off the field. I get to the USU bench and my redhead is nowhere to be found. Being confused, I walk back to my chair where I notice the crowd giggling and looking off towards the goal. As I look out towards the commotion my eyes see five USU players on their hands and knees, side by side in a perfect line combing through the grass, all while my husband is frantically directing them to a specific area.

Now pause. And let's travel back in time about two weeks ago to said Husband's previous soccer game in Woods Cross. I, being the good wife I try so hard to be, invite my entire family to come to his game. Good support right? So as me, my grandparents, my brother, my mom and dad, my aunt, uncles and cousins all sit around with our Cafe Rio and enjoy the game. It was another tense game and at one point Colten got into a scuffle with a player from the other team. Colten pulled him back, the ref blew his whistle, and the game stopped for a brief second. It was all worked out and the play started again. Just as Colten goes to run off, he flips back bends down to the ground and then puts something on his finger and runs off again.

Yep, folks, that thing would be his wedding ring. Which he lost in a soccer game. And then found and put on. Right in front of my mom, my protective grandpa, and the whole world. But it's ok. Things happen. I moved on.

Now. Back to yesterdays game. If you haven't figured it out by now, a ring was found the the grass by one of the USU players who kindly combed the grass for my husband. I could be upset. I could be mad. I could think it was a force of nature showing that we ultimately shouldn't be together. And I wish I had a picture of the whole scenario. Because really, when I see my husband frantically directing five of his fellow players to find his ring in the grass that accidentally slipped off, all I can do is laugh. And because seeing my redhead try so hard just makes me love him even more.

Exhausted.

2011-08-27T00:01:00.000-06:00

I'm not doing so well with my one post a day goal. But I'm tired. And I've worked a lot this week.

Out of a possible 12 shifts I'm capable of working in a week I worked 9 this week. I just got done with a twelve hour shift only to return in 10 hours.

I haven't seen my husband for more than 2 hours at a time outside of work in the last four days.

And I'm realizing I'll probably never get used to how much I miss him when I don't get to spend a decent amount of time with him.

And it's sad that when we're not a work pretty much all of our time is spent on the couch watching The Office or Restaurant Impossible because we are simply just too exhausted to do anything else.

I know life only gets crazier, but I just needed a "poor me" moment. Thanks for listening. I'll suck it up and go back to Firehouse now.

A sad day.

2011-08-23T00:10:00.000-06:00

Today (or yesterday or the day before, my days blend together) I realized that this year I most likely will not be able to justify spending $200 on a Christmas tree.

Have I ever told you how much I love decorating for the holidays? Ya I do. So I thought to myself, I should start buying halloween decorations. No big deal right? Yeah it's not until you realize that one little frankenstein figurine is $20. And a Happy Halloween lantern is another $25. And soon you think "Wow, I'd have to spend 3 hours at work to afford this one lantern." And then you think "Wow my job really sucks."

But back to decorations. Hobby Lobby already had a huge Christmas section already when I went to buy a fake flower the other day. I'm a sucker for Christmas. Especially the decorations. You might call me weird, but I used to come home from college over christmas break and lay under the Christmas tree so I just felt enveloped in the holiday. (White cinderblock dorm walls are not very conducive to developing the Christmas Spirit.)

So I meandered over to the Christmas section as the red and gold's and fake presents drew me in. I start looking through the tree section thinking "I have a 40% off coupon, if it's not too much I can just save up my tips and get a tree pretty soon."

WRONG.

Do you know what 40% off of $200 is? Only $80. That's still $120 plus ornaments plus lights for the house plus other decorations. Ya so not happening.

But I will not give up. My house will still be decorated. But don't judge me if you come over to visit and you walk in to a winter wonderland of paper chains and hand cut snowflakes.

Book Review: People of the Book

2011-08-21T17:21:00.000-06:00

Ok so remember when I was so good at reading and I had that one summer where I read 11 books. And Then there was last summer where I read one? And now we get to this summer where I'm continuing my horrible trend?

Well this would be my one true book I've read this summer. I did finish the Book Theif, but I don't count that because I started it like a year and a half ago. (Did I ever do a review of that one?)

Anyway, I found this book at a $1 sale at Borders (Before they closed there doors and left Logan desolate of good books, sorry Hastings but you just don't count.) Well I got discouraged over my 6 or so $1 books and didn't feel like reading them. I don't really like books that I don't know a little bit about or a history of. I feel like I have a huge chance of opening it up and wasting time on a book that teaches me nothing. So along comes my roommate (at the time) Lani. She sees it on my shelf and tells me she read it and thought it was lovely and actually thought that I'd like it while she was reading it.

Perfect, I now know it will be good. Only it took me since our honeymoon (two months) to finish it. That is like lightyears for me. However it was worth it.

The book is packed with historical fiction, which have I mentioned is my favorite genere. It's about the journey and restoration of the Sarajevo Haggadah. Here's a short wikipedia history. It follows modern day Hannah, the books restorationist, while intermingling stories from each of the areas that the book traveled to.

I must admit I'll probably have to go back and reread the book. There are so many smaller stories and over the course of how long it took me to read it I didn't get the full sense of how the book traveled and how it all intertwined.

The writing was wonderful. Each story has it's own voice and it's own feel while still keeping with the feel of being an actual book. I would most definitely recommend it.

As for my next book, I'm not sure. I feel like I've been removed from the book world for some time now. And that makes me anxious. But I do have plans to go get myself a library card tomorrow. Now that I'm poor and married I can't continue to expand my own collection of books. Which almost kills me. And yes i'm one of those people who like to buy books and keep them. But I am also one of those people who tend to reread books. Plus they look pretty and I like to share them. I feel justified. But for now, I'll have to settle for borrowing and giving back.

Wish me luck. And I'm open for suggestions.

New Goal

2011-08-19T15:37:00.000-06:00

Attempt to write on my blog every day. That doesn't mean I'll necessarily post every day (trust me, half the stuff I write you would not want to read!). But I want to build my writing more and just hopefully document more of my life.

As of now I cannot wait for fall! Here's why:

-Cardigans
-Fall Boots
-Corn mazes
-Halloween (I bought my first decorations today!)
-Thanksgiving
-Yummy food
-Haunted Houses
-Pretty Leaves
-Campfires
-Stepping on crunchy leaves

Hopefully we have a long fall like last year. If winter comes to soon I might cry.

Almost Finished

2011-08-14T16:36:00.000-06:00

So remember this project? Well I finally almost finished it. After a whole year. All I have left to do is burn pictures to DVDs. But the final count...

13, 909 pictures. That's after I went through most of them and deleted a bunch. Which has resulted in 42.93 GB. Ranging clear back to August 28, 2004.

I may have an obsession. And the Husband may think I'm crazy after looking at what I used to take pictures of.

meh.

2011-08-01T16:15:00.000-06:00

If you haven't noticed, I haven't been writing a whole lot over the last couple months. I've had a serious lack of desire to write and every time I start writing I decide it's lame or stupid or pointless and I quit.

I guess now that I'm married I'm struggling to find stuff happening in my life (or head) that don't put me into the mormon craft/food/anything blogger category. So maybe it's just that my thoughts have become unimportant lately or maybe I just needed a break and will someday say witty and hopefully interesting things again. Just bare with me.

In the mean time I have a short story to tell. Let me begin:

On Saturday I was conducting simple 4 question interviews at the local Gardeners Market before work. I only had half an hour but I really didn't need to gather much material. I got two interviews out of the way and was moving onto my third. I was wandering around when I come across a typical gardeners market looking man (acid wash 80s jeans, a loose button-up linen shirt, and a straw hat). I think "Perfect, he is the ideal person for my little story."

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Bill (my guy) ended up telling me over the course of 20 of my only 30 minutes that he was an ex FBI agent. That it was important to support gardeners markets because someday all the box chains will self implode and we'll only have farms left. That the russians and the americans control all the worlds military and like to start wars because they make money. That the russians are currently trying to take over the US by poisoning us with pesticides and having pfizer create drugs that are slowly having us become ok with being future slaves. And that I can find on the internet that up in Washington there are three-decker trains with shackles on the floor that we will eventually all be living in as slaves. Not to mention an escaped Russian prince who is living in Idaho and found the gospel and wants to go on a mission (I have no idea how that connected to the gardeners market).

I'm not kidding you I felt like I was in a movie. I was waiting for Bill to laugh in my face and say "I can't believe you thought I was being serious!" But he didn't, and he was in fact serious. Part of me is worried that I've been told to much and now I'm being tailed by the FBI. If I disappear...please come find me. Thanks.

Dear World.

2011-07-13T17:38:00.005-06:00

I'm alive.

I've started blogging about the wedding 3 times. I've finished blogging about the wedding 0 times. I wanted to share all the details of how everything went. But most of you were either there or have facebook. So I'll give a shortened version now.

The Wedding-It was awesome. I was really happy. I cried like a baby all day. There was a minor freak out over missing fruit snacks. There was no rain. Our family was awesome. I have wonderful friends. I felt pretty and everything ended up perfect.

The Honeymoon-It was hot. Garments suck in humi

dity. We figured out we are really weird when we're toget

her all the time. We visited some Mayans and snorkeled on the world's second largest reef. Buffet food sucks and leaves a weird smell on your clothes. Having someone bring you mango daiquiri on a white sand beach as you lay next to your husband under a palm tree is pretty close to heaven.

The After Life-Being married is fun. I thoroughly enjoy w

aking up to his face everyday. We are still weird together. We like it. We've become obsessed with The Office. We have midnight dart tournaments in our apartment. I've only made one sit down dinner. Opposite work schedules suck.

And now for some pictures.

Oh and the actual wedding ones are super big from the photographer. And I'm way to lazy to resize them all. So you get our photo booth one and honeymoon ones. Deal with it.

It's time to get married.

2011-06-15T21:59:00.001-06:00

40 DI vases

20 repainted picture frames

12 yards of lace pendant banners

2 refurbished decorative tables

5 packed bags

1 lovable fiance

And 20 gazillion to-do lists

It's here. In 60 1/2 hours I will be getting married to the love of my life. I couldn't be more excited.

I have the most wonderful family, the most caring friends and I have never felt more blessed.

And now I'm off to go be in love.

Things I've learned from my new apartment:

2011-05-24T20:51:00.001-06:00

-WD-40 solves all your problems

-There will be bugs. Buy bug spray.

-When I lived at home and my mom would tell me not to leave piles of clothes or pillows or blankets on the floor because spider's love piles of stuff, she was right. I killed three in my pile of throw pillows. See above.

-The two-year-old who lives above you will never stop running and will always be awake by 7 am.

-Decorate. It will make you feel more comfortable.

-Paranoia. It will be your new best friend. Every sound is a murderer.

-Closet space is a new luxury.

-Building a home with your future hubby is a panic attack and a charming experience all in one.

Welcome Home

The big two double oh

2011-05-19T23:57:00.002-06:00

Yep. It's my 200th post. And it's only happening because my mom said this today on the phone,

"You're out of school and have all this time and you can't update your blog?"

If my mom is noticing my lack of writing then I must be majorly slacking.

Today the future hubs and I sat on our new/old couch and stuffed 370 envelopes while watching two episodes of Swamp People. Seriously so entertaining. (Plus if you click here, you'll find the southern-alligator-hunting version of Jake.) Which this has absolutely nothing to do about anything, I just wanted to show our extremely exciting lives we live now that we aren't preoccupied with school. I'm blaming the rain.

So I figure for this big momentous blogging milestone I should have a big momentous blogging topic. But as of late, I've been having trouble being okay with posting what I write because it's either mundane, whiney, or just plain ridiculous. But maybe that's all I know how to do? But I have, however, been thinking a lot about relationships lately.

I've always been finicky with relationships, ask anyone. And I'm not narrowing that down to relationships with males either. My whole life has been filled with dating mishaps, bratty girls, immature boys, and fights with the parents. A typical teenager life.

But I really am grateful for the relationships I have right now. I guess when you get married it's a requirement to go through a sort of life crisis of sorts where you get all sentimental and don't really know what to think about anything. So I fulfilled this requirement. Multiple times. And what I've realized is that through all the pain in the butt relationships/not really relationships (boy wise), friends who weren't friends at all, and teenage angst where I thought it was taboo to share your life with your parents, it's resulted in me truly appreciating the people who love me and care about me.

I don't mean to brag, but at this point in my 22 years and one month of life, I have loving parents who I talk to almost everyday, I have a fiance who thinks I'm better than sliced bread, and I have friends who are my kind of weird and we love it. I count myself among the lucky.

So as I come upon this big change of life in 29 days, I just want to get a bit sappy and let everyone know how much I care for them, how much they really mean in my life, and how much I want to keep them in my life.

Now this is the point in my posts where I don't really know much more to say, but the sentence before isn't really an ending/conclusion (the writing side of me coming out). So if I may, I'd like to end with a toast:

To health, wealth and happiness!

Part of me secretly wishes someone will say that at our toasts during our luncheon and then just sit down. I'd probably snort with laughter.

This is for my Mom

2011-05-08T15:48:00.002-06:00

She is wonderful, caring, loving and awesome.

She helped me move all day yesterday. Was the first one to hug me and tell me she was proud of me after graduation. And lays in front of the fire with me.

She shares her diet coke. Has an obsession with chocolate and all things salty, like me. She likes to hike with me. Is secretly just as obsessed with our dog as the rest of the family. And she likes to be obsessed with TV shows with me.

My mom has always been there for me, even when I'm stubborn. She always takes care of me and I'm glad she's my best friend.

Thanks for everything mom. I know it's just a blog post, but I hope you know how much I love you.

Happy Mother's Day

I need sleep.

2011-05-05T23:20:00.002-06:00

It's finals week.

I'm 8 hours away from my last final ever.

I just finished my online course.

And now I only have to memorize 40 media law cases before 7:30 in the am.

And I'm sick.

And have you ever tried studying in a room that's in the process of being moved out of? It's like studying in a giant box of stress and chaos.

But, tomorrow I move in to mine and Colten's apartment.

And we bought lamps and a thermostat for it today.

We felt like a married couple.

Just pray I make it through my final and don't die so I can be part of a real married couple.

Thanks.

um here they are

2011-04-21T20:38:00.004-06:00

I have a very handsome future husband.

And thanks to our amazing photographer Ashley, she'll also be doing our formals and wedding day. I'm sure they will be equally awesome

Serious lack of words.

2011-04-18T23:39:00.003-06:00

I've come upon a blogging dry spell. I'm not so sure it's a bad thing. Part of me feels guilty for not writing and the other part feels like it's not a loss to the human world if my blog isn't updated.

I have written 5 drafts since the last time I posted. But they all have to do somewhat with the wedding. I swore I wouldn't be one of those girls. That's why they remain drafts.

So maybe just a mini-update:

-wedding: 2 months away

-graduation: 2 weeks away

-fiance: away for a week

-ice cream consumption: an entire container in 3 days

-work: i rarely want to be there, but life is expensive so i am everyday

-missing: reading books for fun. also, the sun.

-lack: of serious drive to finish the semester

Also:

We may or may not have one engagement picture so far. The rest I've been obsessively checking to see if they have been posted. They are not.

Oh and don't mind my giraffe neck. He just happens to be tall.

A poem.

2011-03-29T22:15:00.002-06:00

So we had to write a poem for English. And we were told if we shared it in a public forum we'd get extra credit. I do like writing poetry. I've written quite a bit actually. I do not like sharing it though. I get all nervous and bashful. But none the less, here we go.

The Moment

Nobody heard them, the silent tears of a mother.

But still, she held him close.

A man asleep in a chair was the only other

To witness the moment, so pure.

The petite little lines and curl of hair;

She drank in his smell, his noise, his presence.

A new connection that wasn’t there

Just moments ago.

She took her love, her protection

And bundled him tight.

Nobody heard it, that unspoken welcome.

But still, a new devotion grew.

In 91 Days

2011-03-18T14:54:00.003-06:00

I get to marry this handsome guy.

I can't wait.

It's been 23 days.

2011-03-14T12:31:00.002-06:00

23 days of being engaged.

And I want to be done already. When they say "have a short engagement" they aren't kidding. Ours will be a 4 month engagement. I'm regretting it already.

I'm ready to be done with wedding planning. I'm ready to get back to having free time. I'm ready to live with my future husband. And I'm ready to just start my new life.

Hooray for love! Not hooray for wedding planning while in school.

the story.

2011-02-25T09:53:00.004-07:00

it's been asked for. so here it is.

Last weekend we had planned on going down to my parents house after work. I figured since colten was scheduled to get off at 3:45 we'd leave around 4:30. Oh how I was wrong. Our saturday morning consisted of catering a wedding and hosting three rugby teams who wanted 7 36'' pizzas and endless beer. Not a typical Saturday morning. Colten was able to get out around 4:40 and I didn't leave until 5. He told me he had to stop at the store and get gas on his way home, maybe a 10 minute stop right? Well by the time I showed up at his house half an hour after he got off, he still wasn't there. Weird but I didn't think much of it.

We tried to hurry and get ready and by 6 we were about to walk out the door. My mom was texting me wanting to go to dinner s i was trying to hurry even more. Right before we were about to leave Colten mentions to me that we needed to quickly stop by his first counselors house because they had rearranged the FHE families and since Colten wasn't going to be in church on sunday his counselor wanted him to have the info for Monday's FHE. I said ok whatever let's just hurry. We started driving up to this house and it just so happened to be on the top of the hill in providence. We pull up and Colten tells me to come in with him because his counselor wants to meet me. I reluctantly agreed to go out in the cold foggy weather. Instead of taking me up to the front door Colten starts to take me around the side of the house. I thought this was weird and he just said something about his office being in the back of the house and that's whyere the guy told him to come. Ok, whatever I just wanted to get on the road.

As we're walking down the side walk Colten starts to point out Providence and Millville canyon, where we'd gone four-wheeling during the summer. As he's talking I look forward and notice that the sidewalk is suddenly covered in rose petals. I knew it was going to happen. I looked back at him already full of smiles and he's still rambling on about the canyons and trying to distract me. The rose covered sidewalk lead to the cutest little gazebo on the very edge of the hill. If there wasn't the unfortunate fog, it would have had the perfect view of the entire valley. He sat me down on some chairs he brought in and that's where the happiness exploded. He started talking about our lives and said some really precious things I'll just keep to myself and then he got down on his knee and pulled out the most beautiful ring I could ever picture. I was shaking and so happy. I'm pretty sure I said yes but I'm also pretty sure I couldn't really speak and it came out as a little squeak. I pulled him in tight and tried to start telling him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me but I'm pretty sure I was still only squeak capable. I don't think I've ever been so happy or smiled so much in my life. He was just excited it was a surprise. With our busy schedules I was a little worried as to how he was going to do it. But it was perfect. Sweet, meaningful and the start to our lives together.

And now for a picture tour of the story:

The cute gazebo. Notice the ridiculous fog.

I might sorta like him a lot.

Pretty much just pretty.

My parents took us out for celebratory Yogurt Stop.

it's official.

2011-02-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

this was my last first date. ever.

it couldn't have been more perfect.

Love.

2011-02-14T23:57:00.003-07:00

It's the day of it.

And I'm bursting with it.

I have so much love in my heart for the people that grace my life. This last week as been a bit rough but everyday I'm reminded of how much love people have for me. Despite the tears, the frustration, the stress and my stubbornness it's good to be reminded that my family, Colten and my friends still love me.

So I guess my post is more of a thank you post. A way to let the people in my life know that they don't go unnoticed. That they mean everything to me. And that I couldn't ask for better people to go throughout my life with.

2011-02-10T18:12:00.000-07:00

This kid melts my heart.

That's all.

goodness gracious.

2011-01-27T22:57:00.003-07:00

How I am loving this album.

How I love the people in the UK who kindly put it up online so I can listen to it on grooveshark before it's released in the US.

Nothing ends a day more brilliantly than her.

Addiction.

2011-01-25T00:32:00.003-07:00

Dear Diet Coke,

Our torrid love affair has to end. I really am trying to be healthy. And your cancer inducing artificial sweeteners aren't helping. Plus I'm assuming the caffeine you hold isn't helping my sleeping.

It's not that I drink you constantly. But let's be honest, it happens everyday.

I've tried to quit before. I was pretty successful during my lacrosse years. But as of late, it's a bit ridiculous. It's just so hard when your place of work is sponsored by coca-cola. Our clocks, our shirts, our decor, our cups. They all scream your family name. Plus it's free. How can I say no to a free cold and delicious fountain you?

I've rationalized enough. This two cups of water for every small cup of diet coke thing just isn't working. Frankly it's just making me drink twice as much and pee in equal quantities. Which we all know much be an exorbitant amount compared to my usual trips.

So this is it. My formal notice of my resignation to your sweet comfort. But it has to be done. It will be better for the both of us. I'm sure I'll run into you occasionally, but don't expect to see me nearly as often as in the past. I just need to move on. I hope you can accept this.

With love always,

Megan

P.S.

Is it a sign that this should have happened sooner if I've had 15 previous posts that mentioned you? A little too much? A little obsessed? I'd say yes.

A thing I hate.

2011-01-19T10:54:00.002-07:00

When I try to be studious and I fail.

Last night I actually read my chapter for my Media Law class. I felt good though, I was prepared. Do you know how mind dullingly boring 40 pages of media law is? Well I do. And then this morning I slept through not one but two alarms. I don't even have a recollection of shutting them off and deciding to go back to sleep. So to my dismay I missed Media Law, and our first quiz. Which I could have aced.

Second, I have an hour to kill right now between classes. I even lugged my laptop up to campus to be prepared for another class by reading all my assigned articles. Then, the university's internet decides to be lethargic on top of a slow Blackboard system which in turn causes my article PDFs to not even have the energy to load on my screen. After half an hour, two computer restarts, and an attempt on an innocent bystander's computer I am left with nothing.

Someone please tell me not to give up hope and that I must be diligent in my attempts to graduate.

2011-01-11T21:58:00.001-07:00

I deeply regret not majoring in English.

There. I've said it.

Update: Picture Organizing

2011-01-04T21:27:00.002-07:00

Some of you might remember my summer project I was working on. Well it's update time.

I've finally uploaded all of my pictures, it only took me 5 months to do it...

Now I've moved onto organizing pictures and deleting ones that don't matter. Let's just say that I've only made it through half of my high school years and have deleted over 2,000 pictures.

Judge me as you wish.

More updates to follow.

full heart.

2010-12-26T01:23:00.003-07:00

I know it's past Thanksgiving, but it's usually around Christmas that I feel the most grateful.

My life is truly blessed with wonderful people. Last night I was overwhelmed with thankfulness as I thought about my family, my boyfriend and my friends. These are some important people, some great people. Each of them are so unique and talented that I amazed that I get them in my life. I love being able to see how each one has blessed me and how they were put into my life for a very specific reason.

I'm grateful for the love that they give me and the effort that they put into making me happy. I know Christmas isn't about material things, but just seeing the time and effort put into presents that people gave me helped me appreciate them even more. The actual item could really have been anything but I would love it because of the thought put behind it.

I've been thinking a lot lately about families and how I want to raise my future family. I am really blessed with the family that I grew up in. Sometimes I realize how unique my family really is and I love it. I have loved growing up in families that were small and very close to each other. I loved being able to think of my family as just a family instead of a separated immediate family and extended family. I have great examples in my life of love and respect.

I am extremely grateful for the gospel in my life as well and for my Heavenly Father and Brother. I am still so amazed by how things play out and how I can see the hand of God and His doings in my life. The gospel is a wonderful thing. It can be tough sometimes sticking to all the rules or defending it against those who don't believe, but oh is it so worth it. Even in times of darkness it is impossible not to believe in something that is so happy and pure.

I'm grateful for the sacrifices that were made on my behalf and for the birth of our Savior. I'm grateful for his perfect example to look towards. I'm grateful that I could live in a time that has the gospel on the earth and I'm grateful the chance to live happily in the eternities.

It's easy to feel grateful during the holidays when it seems like normal life is put on hold and you're almost forced to be happy by everything going on around you. One of my goals this year is going to be replacing negativity with gratitude. I find myself being sucked in to gossip and complaining, it's a vicious cycle, but I think an easy antidote is gratitude. I remember reading a book a couple years ago that talked about starting each day with listing 10 things in your head that you're grateful for. It called it the golden list or something to that effect.

I think it's a good idea that can keep us all humbled and positive in the new year. I challenge all of us to try being a little more grateful in our simple everydays. It doesn't have to be something big or typical like "families" and "friends." It can be as easy as being grateful for making it to work on time on a day you're running behind or having a friend share their sandwich when you are starving or finding you're favorite pen you thought you lost. Just little things that can make a big difference in our overall attitude.

Update: the book is called The Ultimate Gift. I remember it being good. Apparently it's also a movie. I've already netflixed it.

just around the river bend

2010-12-14T20:54:00.002-07:00

I am officially done Christmas shopping.

I officially bought every single gift online this year.

I am officially over-joyed with every gift I picked, they're good. Real good.

And I officially can't wait the 10 1/2 more days until I can give them away.

2010-12-12T21:49:00.002-07:00

Pandora's Jazz Holiday Station might be the only thing getting me through these last two weeks.

I can't help it.

2010-12-01T12:41:00.003-07:00

I am just tickled blue (because I don't like pink) by this song. I loved this song when Florence sang it. I love it even more after this weeks episode of glee. You better believe I have a new ringtone now.

Disgruntled

2010-11-29T15:03:00.002-07:00

So I have a rant.

Apartment Landlords.

Mine is of the typical breed of lazy, doesn't care, and you can never get ahold of them.

A couple of examples:

-My roommates and I survived the Blizzard of 2010 and the Blizzard of 2010 Part II. Our driveway did not. In this last week of snow, our driveway has been cleared once. There is currently at least 8 inches of snow on it. Our parking stalls are a sheet of ice, and our stair case is a death trap. In years past (this is my third living here) there hasn't been an issue. Snow has been shoveled in a timely matter and salt was provided for our ice skating rink at the bottom of the stairs. But this year, nothing. Now don't get me wrong. I don't mind shoveling some snow. I have already, twice. But our driveway is long. I am busy. And I pay a buttload of money each month to live in an apartment where it states in my contract that issues like this will be resolved by the landlord.

-For the month of October, I mailed in my rent check on September 20th. On October 7th, I get an email from my landlord saying I owed her money. Oh contraire. I explained to here that I had mailed it in three weeks previous and asked her if she had recently checked the P.O. box I had sent it to (she has in the past forgotten to look in the mailbox and miraculously my check was there. Who'da thunk?). She said she had and that it was my fault and I needed to send her another check. I refused (I don't have extra money laying around to have two checks accidentally cashed) and told her to either wait a couple days for it to show up or wait until I had time to cancel the check. The very next day she emails me back saying it "happened to show up in the mail that day!" Bull crap. She forgot to check the P.O. box again.

-For the month of November, I had saved up my money early and had my rent ready to send to my landlord on October 15th. The day I was going to stick it in the mailbox my landlord happens to be at my apartment with an appraiser. Knowing the shebackle I went through last time I mailed it in, I decided to give her the check in person. Thinking this would cut out one step of the process I put the check in her hand and merrily went on my way. A week goes by, two weeks go by, the rent deadline goes by. Finally on November 11th, 10 days after rent is due and almost a month after I gave her my check, the money is finally taken out of my account. Now I know not to spend money that hasn't been taken out yet, which I didn't, but it's a little annoying to know I have a check out there worth hundreds of dollars and then see my bank account each day taunting me with money I can't have.

But silly me. I apparently thought wrong when I thought that simple landlord job duties would be done by my landlord.

Gracias

2010-11-25T01:07:00.002-07:00

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Here is my attempt at putting it all into words.

-My family. I've had many opportunities to realize how precious they are, how much they support me, how much they mean to me, how funny they are, how many traits that I inherited from them, and how I will always look up to them.

-My girls. There have been a couple times in the last month or two that I've had to think back on the time in my life when I moved in with these amazing girls and I've seen how it was most definitely on purpose that I was placed in an apartment with them. They have done a lot for me in my life and have seen me through hard times. I've grown so much with them and I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather be stuck in an apartment with for three years.

-Having a steady job. Despite the drama that comes with working in a restaurant I am grateful to have the job. I got really scared at the beginning of the summer when I couldn't find a job and I was being laid off of my old one. I was so relived so find one even though it was in a restaurant. I've met people who have hugely impacted my life that I would never have met otherwise (maybe one in particular). And I basically learned the value of a dollar (when you only make seven in an hour, each one counts).

-Being able to see my blessings in real time. This might seem like an odd one but I've always been grateful for the gift of being able to see the bigger picture. Even when I was going through hard times I was able to take a step back and see the purpose of things. It helped keep me in check and gave me the motivation to keep going.

-My church calling. Every time I teach sunday school I'm reminded of how great the gospel is. It's complexly simple. Every story and principle relates back to how much God loves us. Despite my slacking on how early I prepare my lesson, I feel like I give it a good go around. I learn a lot each Sunday I teach. I'm hoping I have this calling for awhile.

-Being happy. Not that I was depressed before, I wasn't. I was just content. I still have all the same stresses in my life, if not more. But I am just happy. And I am ever so grateful for that.

Uno, dos, tres, quatro.

2010-11-23T02:11:00.003-07:00

First:

My little apartment family decided to do Thanksgiving. This is the feast we produced. It was simply wonderful. Everyone brought something. Every something was delicious. Once again it made me realize how blessed I am with the people I have in my life.

Here be our family picture. Aren't we adorable?

Second:

I have two new life goals. Get ready to judge me.

1. Be able to rightfully say "It is my destiny" in a conversation.

2. Witness a redbox being filled with new movies. With how many times I am at a redbox at all hours of the day I have never seen one being restocked. I'm convinced all redboxs are connected by underground vacuum chutes that lead to an evil genius that will eventually take over the world with simple ideas that make us all hate ourselves for not thinking of them first.

Third:

I'm not mad about the snow. I had a fulfilling fall that lasted until November 21. I can't complain. And there is something eerily calming about driving home on the deserted roads of Logan at 1 in the morning while it's snowing. Plus I'm a fan of having any excuse to be in sweats 24/7. And this means that snowmobiling is just a short couple weeks away.

Fourth:

By sacrificing myself to the Firehouse gods over the next 3 days (I'll have worked at least 20 hours in a 40 hour time period) I get to spend a glorious 3 days and 3 nights at home. I honestly have no recollection of the last time I was at home for that long. It will be filled with mom time, my fireplace, my dog, bubble baths, good food, people-watching on black friday, a temple trip, a Jazz game, a project runway marathon and just plain old laying on the couch. I cannot wait.

um hello

2010-11-18T18:11:00.001-07:00

I love glee. And I love acoustic songs. And I love Katy Perry. Therefore, according to the transitive property, I love this video.

In the last 24 hours

2010-11-15T22:36:00.001-07:00

I may have registered for my last semester of college.

I also may have submitted my graduation packet.

I also may be freaking out more than a little because I am still no where near having an inkling of what I should do with my post school life.

I have 2 minutes before I have to leave for work.

2010-11-03T16:44:00.003-06:00

But today has been filled with:

-getting my new black boots.

-eating ridiculous amounts of fall salt water taffy instead of lunch.

-having my room be the perfect temperature to take a nap without a blanket.

-watching oprah and gale fly fish.

-a really good conversation with the momma.

Things I'm Obsessed With (picture edition)

2010-11-01T11:48:00.007-06:00

this picture series

this library desk

these girls and this pizza place

this bathroom

this kid

food like this

this fall

pictures like this

these two creatures

2010-10-20T12:37:00.002-06:00

I've had a lot on my mind the last day or two and I decided it's time to try and sort everything out. Since writing in my journal is time consuming and reminds me that I never hand write anything in life anymore, I'm working it out on my blog. So bear with me, this is more for my own sanity than anything else.

I'm feeling a little lost as of late. I went through this feeling last year at this time because I thought I would be graduating last May. Part of me sort of knew I'd put it off until this year so I didn't get the full blow. But now that I'm 6 months away from being a college graduate (for real), I'm starting to freak out.

I used to be such a motivated, planned and ambitious person. And somewhere in the last three and a half years I lost that part of myself. I don't know how and I don't know what to do to get it back, but I'm desperately searching for that part of me again. I'm disappointed at what I've let myself become because I know I'm capable of more.

For the longest time (five years to be exact) I was hell bent on being an excellent journalist. It was my passion. I lived and breathed writing. And then it stopped. Quite suddenly. And I feel like a part of me has been missing for over a year. It has completely thrown off everything in my life. I stopped caring about school, I stopped planning for the future, I let my grades go, I became lazy and I couldn't care less if I was progressing. It's been horrible. But now I realize all of this and I'm trying to change it. But after an almost two year funk it's hard to pull myself out and I'm not sure how to do it.

Lately I've been craving passion and ambition. It's a weird thing to try and put into words. But I miss loving something. I miss being proud of myself for what I was accomplishing. I have literally been praying and begging to find something to be passionate over again. Right now I know it's not going to be my major. I've become so disconnected from it that I feel like I'm doing the bare minimum to get by and just get it over with. I need something new.

This puts me at today. Around me I have friends who have graduated, started careers. Roommates who are traveling the country doing internships, checking out grad schools and taking the GRE for their applications. How I wish this was me. I've put myself in an awkward position. Three years ago I was convinced that my roommates situations now would have been my own. Instead I got lost. I still want to go to grad school. But for what? I don't know. Which makes it hard to start applying to make deadlines (which would be around now). I have a GPA that's not pretty that I'm trying to salvage. That won't be entirely fixed until I literally graduate. And how do I convince a grad application board to admit me into their program when I have no idea what program I even want to be admitted into?

I guess what it comes down to is for once in my life I have some big regrets. I know I wouldn't be in the place I am today without everything having happened as it did. And I have some good things going for me right now that I am so grateful for. I know good things come out of any situation and that I am in this moment for a reason. But if I could do things differently, I probably would.

I would have studied out my prospective major more in high school instead of just leaping in based on my current love. I would have chosen a major at Utah State that would have had a better/more accredited program or I would have chosen another school that had a better journalism program. I would have been more realistic about how much I procrastinate and lie to myself thinking I can do little and still get by. I would accepted myself for who I am and not have tried so hard to be a person that I'm not or am never going to be.

Which leaves me with what I'm going to do. And I have no idea. And it absolutely terrifies me. I know everyone says things will work out, life just happens, I don't have to have my whole future planned out. In a sense these things are true, but I've also have my own work to get myself to a point that I feel comfortable with letting things just happen. I can't use it as an excuse. I have to be as prepared as I can and then I can just let life happen.

So now I start my quest. My search for passion, ambition, and fulfillment. Hopefully I can find them sooner than later.

God has a sense of humor

2010-10-19T20:10:00.002-06:00

Well boys and girls...

I made it up until my last semester of college without having to take a class before 9:30 am. And then what happens.

Spring semester of my senior year I find out that the dreaded media law is taught by the dreaded Penny Byrne at the dreaded time of 8:30 am.

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.

My Conclusion

2010-10-12T22:13:00.002-06:00

I'm really bad at procrastinating. I'm also really bad at doing my homework/studying. But I've come to this conclusion:

I'm really bad at these things because I hate learning out of a text book written by a 70-year-old granola who likes to use big words just because he's finally got his Ph. D. and can write a book that is pretty much just his thesis wrapped up in a tacky Microsoft graphic-art book cover.

I've also come to the conclusion that I may be making excuses. But to back myself up, I am much more interested in finding questions about my classes topic and either talking about them with people or researching them myself on the good ole internet.

I also like to read books. And during the school months this love of mine is often neglected due to my feeble attempts at reading textbooks. I am quite convinced that I could learn more from one 200 page historical fiction novel than I could from an entire semester of droning lectures and late night cram sessions.

I'm just saying.

2010-10-05T19:54:00.003-06:00

So there has been something that I've been wanting to talk about for quite sometime but I just haven't been able to word it right. But thanks to my religious studies class on Wednesday and in part from this weeks Glee episode, I think I know how to express it.

I've been troubled with the issue of religion for the past while. Not my personal faith, I'm quite strong there right now, but the issue of society and religion. I've been lucky to spend my life growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but I've also been lucky to always be surrounded by people who are not of my faith. I say lucky because I value seeing all or most sides of things. It makes me stronger in my own beliefs, religious or not, and it makes me more educated.

So on to what has been bothering me. I've had a lot of meaningful conversations in the last year or two with those who don't believe in god, those who believe in another religion than mine, and those who believe what I do. And a common thread that has run through all of them is hatred. Hatred from people who believe something different than them. It's really starting to make me furious how many people there are in the world who are just bent on convincing everyone else that they are wrong. Mormons, non-mormons, atheists. It happens in every religion.

In my religious studies class we were having an open discussion on hardships with practicing a religion and the comment came up from my professor that "the most conservative people sometimes are those who claim to be the most liberal." Now let me explain before I get a slew of angry comments. One example is that in my experiences, as with the experiences of my professor, I have run into quite a few people who have decided to not believe in the LDS religion anymore. Perfectly fine by me. I believe in it. That is my personal choice. You don't believe in it. That is your personal choice.

Quite a few of these people that I'm talking about have tended to fall on the far liberal side of political views. What I do not appreciate is the extreme backlash towards the mormon religion that I hear from these people. They tend to go on about how everyone needs to be accepted in the world and how the mormon religion is too conservative to include that acceptance. What they are failing to see is that they are being too conservative to include mormons in their acceptance.

Now I know I am using some stereotypes and the example of mormons specifically, but these are the experiences I run into the most. I know not everyone falls into different categories but for time's sake this is how it is easiest to explain. I know there are those in the mormon religion who get lost in self-righteousness and berate anyone of another faith. But what I feel get's lost in Utah is that there are people in any belief system who get lost in their own self-righteous ways.

I get so frustrated trying to comprehend how there can be such hate towards a person because of their differing beliefs. It is like saying that you despise anyone who likes vanilla ice cream just because you like chocolate. Their taste buds are different than yours and you can't hate someone because you taste something different. Just like you cannot hate someone because their mind processes the world in a different way than yours.

What happened to treating others as you'd like to be treated?

The road goes both ways. And I guess that is what I am hoping to get at with this post. I feel like one of my goals in life is to break stereotypes; to get people to be understanding of other faiths. I hope that if you are reading this you can go into tomorrow not defining a person by their faith but by their actions. If they have negative actions, that is their own problem, but don't rob them of the chance at surprising you by be a good person.

A great longing.

2010-09-28T19:03:00.003-06:00

I miss New York. I miss it a lot.

I was reading this blog the other day and her pictures in New York made me really sad. I fell in love instantly with this city and I'm dying to go back.

I love how it represents something I did by myself/for myself. I love how busy it is. How I always had something to do. I love how everything I did there was new. I love how it made me be strong and independent. I love how much of an adventure it was.

I really hate how when I think about last summer it seems like a dream and not a memory. How it doesn't really feel like I did any of it.

Maybe I'll give myself a graduation present and go back in May.

Update Time

2010-09-16T19:58:00.004-06:00

So as of late I've been a bit busy and distracted. Maybe it's because stuff like this keeps showing up in my life.

Please notice the poorcollegestudent water picture vase.

It's no big deal. But here is what has been happening in the world of megan lately:

-I work ridiculous amounts of time and feel like I live at Firehouse.

-I am learning Español. Soy un estudiante de la Universidad Estatal de Utah.

-I am really falling in love with Logan and thinking about how I might be living it in a year makes me sad.

-I wish I could go home more. It has been ages since I have been there for more than 24 hours. I would really like to visit my dear friends Steph and Vanessa and baby William.

This might be just one of the lamest updates on record, but not much has changed with school starting other than it's school and I work too. Which has pretty much been the story of the last four years of my life.

Book Review: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

2010-09-16T19:42:00.004-06:00

All right. It's only been 3 weeks since I finished the book. But here it finally is.

I loved this book. Definitely my favorite book in quite sometime. It was witty, it was funny and I felt like it was me in a book form.

This book was a pretty easy read and I could stop and start it with days in between and not skip a beat. Shaffer and Barrows seamlessly integrated history with love and everyday struggle. It was really interesting to learn about WWII from a different vantage point than America.

I think one of the reasons why I liked this book so much was how it had to do with the story of how I stumbled onto it. That is one thing that I love about books is that there is almost always your own story to go along with the one you are reading.

I'm sort of coming to a loss of words at how to keep describing this book other than it was great and I'd recommend it highly.

The end.

Things I'm abnormally excited for

2010-09-09T16:09:00.000-06:00

-The Video Music Awards on Sunday

-The new season of Oprah starting

-The first home football game on Saturday

-Drinking a vanilla Diet Coke tonight at work

-Having my dog visit me at work, I guess my parents too

as of late

2010-09-08T01:44:00.002-06:00

School started. I have no life.

I work until 10:30 every night. Which leaves me doing spanish recordings in my room at 1:30 in the morning trying not to wake up the roommies.

My Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are full of school, homework, more school, gym, work. with maybe 10 minutes to spare between. And my Tuesdays and Thursdays usually entail lots of errands, more homework, then work. Somehow I try to fit in roommate time, boy time, friend time, and time to breathe.

Upcoming posts:

-how much I love Bear Lake

-how much I love my grandpa

-Book review of "Potato Peel," I finished it a week ago and still haven't found time to give it a just review

Hasta pronto amigos.

Dear School,

2010-08-30T15:36:00.002-06:00

Here are some reasons why I hate you.

1. Books. I have started renting mine. Saved a lot of money. But now that I'm in Spanish 1010 (which already has an outrageous student fee just to take the class) and the required book is $165, I thought I'd be able to save a buttload by renting. But no no no, you require an access code. Which means no used books. Whatsoever. So thank you for that extra $165 gift that I will probably be able to sell back for maybe 20 bucks.

2. You screwed up on my student loan. I started months ago to give myself plenty of time to have the money by the first day of school. And what happened? I sat around for three weeks making phone call after phone call to the financial aid office only to be told things were "fine" and then finding out last week that you still hadn't certified my loan. Well today, I need money (see above for the ridiculous amount just on books), and Wells Fargo tells me I won't be getting my money until September 7th because of your laziness in not approving my loan. Well thanks, because now I will have a late rent payment and another book I can't buy until then.

3. It rained today. Now this isn't entirely your fault. I'm mad at mother nature too. But why oh why do you have a ton of construction all over campus. It makes it take even longer to get to my classes which equals more time that excessive amounts of water are pouring down on me?

I really tried to be positive this year. I need to do well. I want to have fun. It's my last year. But after today, I want to crawl back into the hole known as summer where I'm perpetually bored just because you had to rain on my parade. Literally.

Sincerely,

One Disgruntled Student

Things Are Weird.

2010-08-26T09:57:00.002-06:00

Everyone I know is getting back from a mission. I didn't really write any of these boys, although I still consider them dear friends. So it is weird to me that they have been absent from my life for two years and then it seems like in a matter of two weeks they are all active on facebook and in two days will all be in Cache Valley.

Plus Logan is becoming populated again. I'm not sure I like it. All I know is I see people moving in and I find a sick joy in knowing that while they stress and huff and puff hauling boxes up stairs I can sit in my perfectly furnished room.

Oh and can I mention the coming onslaught of freshmen? Not looking forward to it. I'm not sure I feel old enough to be a senior in college, but the thought of being a freshman seems like ages ago. And I swear on my own grave that I was never that wiggly and obsessed with the concept of college. Ok maybe I really did love the idea of college, but I was always ahead of my game and extremely mature for my age (what's sarcasm?).

Dreaded Doctor Appointments Day

2010-08-24T19:03:00.002-06:00

Today I had two doctors appointments. The dentist and the optometrist. Anyone who knows me slightly well knows I full on hate the dentist. No, more like loathe it.

I don't think there has been a single dentist appointment in the last 5 years that I have not cancelled at least once. Call me a chicken, but having four baby teeth pulled may have scarred me for life. Plus the metal scraping, the sever anxiety over how self conscious I am about the cleanliness of my teeth. Not a good combo.

So to continue on with the dread of the day I had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn and haul myself through sardine canyon to make it to my appointment. After the nasty, gritty paste polishing, the painful x-rays, and another lecture on how I need to see a periodontist to get a gum graft (yipee.), I hear this news.

"Well, you have a cavity."

Suck.

First one of my life.

And to top it all off, they "luckily" have an appointment tomorrow to fill it so I don't have to drive down again. At 8 in the freakin am.

On the positive side my eyes have gotten .25 and .50 better. And I have "very unique and beautiful iris'."

Things I See at the Park

2010-08-22T14:21:00.003-06:00

I enjoy going to parks. Especially to people watch. Here are some moments I have captured under the guise of reading.

A guy with a metal detector finding nothing but ants.

Two little boys who approached me holding a python asking if I like snakes and then proceeding to take their python around the park to every other person.

A boy with a desire to be really tall while riding a bike. I wonder how he gets off.

An elderly couple riding their bikes together. Someday I want to be this in love.

Grumbles

2010-08-18T15:18:00.002-06:00

Well. Reading day was ruined.

The grass was unusually wet and there was an over abundance of ants.

Give me ants and I'll give you angered annoyance.

Pre-Book Review

2010-08-18T02:15:00.004-06:00

Tomorrow (or today depending on how you look at it) I don't work until 5 in the pm. I have no plans besides doing my laundry. So I fully intend to spend all day reading The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society.

I can't remember if I previously posted on this or if I wrote a post and it's still stuck forever in my drafts, but the story about finding this book is interesting.

Last summer, in the height of my obsession with reading, I was on the Hampton Jittney headed back from NYC to Bridgehampton. It was my last weekend in the city, the Jittney was late and completely full, and I had had a not so good time walking around and wasting my last NYC moment.

In my state of bitter depression towards returning to the stuffy Hamptons, the lady sitting next to me noticed my book "The Three Bean Trees". She started up a conversation with me about reading and recommend two books to me, Forever by Pete Hamill and The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows.

She told me that if I had fallen in love with New York so fast then I would love Forever because it was a history of NYC with fictional characters. Well I bought and read the book and what do ya know? I loved it. Ever since then Gurnsey has been on my list of books to read.

Jump forward to almost exactly a year to the day and I am sifting through boxes of books at Borders. My roommates had come home and told me they stumbled upon a $1 sale at Borders. There is quite possibly nothing that could get me as excited as hearing I can get books for a dollar. So I hussled my butt on over and began the hunt. Seven books later and only $14 spent (I splurged and book a book for $7.99) I came away with Gurnsey for only a buck!

There couldn't have been a better timing, I'd just finished The History of Love and needed a book to start (because apparently the 8 or so untouched ones on my selves just won't do). And what can I say. I love it so far. Witty, unique, and historical. All the things I'm looking for in a book.

So moral of the story, tomorrow will be filled with blankets, reading, parks, diet coke and probably a snack. And I couldn't be more excited.

sometimes

2010-08-04T11:55:00.002-06:00

...I feel like there are so many books I want to read but I'm limited by how physically fast I can read them.

...I wish I had the guts to just go and travel and not worry about money or loneliness or kidnapping.

...I think that my life and Logan could easily be a reality TV show. It would be called "The Valley."

...I can't wait to get married just so I have someone to play practical jokes on.

...I hate that I have to wear contacts or glasses just to see the world.

...There are days that I just lay in bed, eating ice cream for breakfast and watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy because I might as well use the excuse "I'm a girl."

book review

2010-08-02T16:50:00.005-06:00

I'm back on my game. I finished The History of Love in less than two weeks. A definite improvement from the two months it took to finish The Poisonwood Bible. However, since I started this book last fall I can't brag all too much.

I don't know how to feel about this book. Deeply moved? Still not 100% clear on how everything played out?

The gist: Life is full of love and loss and most of the time the two are so deeply intertwined that they become the same thing.

Love is potent, and it can define and move and create. I can't wait until I have a love for something or someone that is so great that it changes my life. I liked how real this book was. How life is confusing and connected in weird ways and how sometimes things don't make sense and to work it all out we create a world that does make sense.

Upcoming books:

-Into Thin Air

-The Book Thief (second attempt)

-People of the Book

-House of Sand and Fog

five reasons why I love hiking

2010-07-26T22:02:00.005-06:00

one- It's pure and simple. All you need is some water and some shoes. Actually half the time shoes aren't even necessary.

two- Everyone you meet while hiking is nice. This last weekend we were in Moab. We met five different groups of people along the trail. Four out of the five we had lengthy conversations with. Not a single one was from Utah. Only happy people hike. I love it.

three- You get to see the true side of anyone you're hiking with. It's when you're at your sweatiest and dirtiest. You have to work hard and sometimes you get a bit snippy. But it's also when you're at your most "you" state. You don't have the world to impress, you don't have cell phones and internet to worry about, there's no make-up and lots of dirt. You find out the most about people when hiking.

four- You build relationships when you hike. Whether with yourself, your friends, your family, your dog. When you're hiking some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations are had.

five- The earth is beautiful. Shout out to God for having a great design sense.

roadtrip

2010-07-22T23:56:00.004-06:00

in 10 hours I'll be embarking on a lovely trip with this lovely lady.

(my mom in case you didn't know)

last time we took a trip that was just "us girls" was in 2004 to San Diego. six years later and we're headed to Colorado!

2010-07-22T16:45:00.003-06:00

Definitely in love with everything about this song.

(ahem. all my guitar playing friends. someone please do an acoustic cover. thank you.)

book review

2010-07-19T20:42:00.006-06:00

I finished.

After a painstaking two months of reading I finished Kingsolver's The Poisonwood Bible. It was beautiful.

I've been so frustrated with how long it has taken me to finish this book. During school I would have expected this kind of time frame. But summer, where I have spent at least two days or more a week laying at a park putting in hours towards finishing this, I didn't expect that. But it wasn't until today, as I started to read the last pages, that I realized how I would have lost being able to fully appreciate this book if I would have breezed through it in a week or two.

Last summer I read The Three Bean Trees by Kingsolver and I loved how her complex language created simple imagery. I can now safely say she is one of my favorite authors, ever. The Poisonwood Bible was written with eloquence that I can only ever dream of possessing in my writing. As cliche as this sounds, I feel changed from this book.

It follows a family on their journey to Congo to bring the good word to the desperate natives, their failed mission, the destruction of the family, soul searching and purposes of life, and the beauty learned from everything. It taught me to stretch my cares and concern farther than my self-indulged world and to see past my beliefs but strengthen my conviction.

I feel like any review I give this book isn't going to accurately describe how I feel towards it. Despite the last three years of honing my craft of being a writer I often find myself at a lack of words to accurately describe a situation, one such as this. So I'll end with some Kingsolver's own words.

"She wiped the tears off both sides of her face with the back of her left hand, leaving dark lines of soil along her cheek bones. To live is to be marked, she said without speaking. To live is to change, to die one hundred deaths. I am a mother. You aren't, he wasn't.

"Do you want to forget?"

She paused her work, resting her trowel on her knew, and looked at me. "Are we allowed to remember?'"

"All because. If the mother and her children had not come down the path on this day, the pinched tree branches would have grown larger and that fat-bodied spider would have lived. Every life is different because you passed this way and touched history. Even the child Ruth May touched history. Everyone is complicit. The okapi complied by living, and the spider by dying. It would have lived if it could. "

church things that must go

2010-07-19T18:39:00.003-06:00

1. Leggings. They are not appropriate for church. Not at all. Actually I don't like leggings outside of church either. But just because you have leggings on doesn't mean you can wear a dress that doesn't cover your butt.

2. Girls scratching each others backs. I'll admit, I like a good back scratch. But I would by no means expect my friends to scratch my back at church. The most recent example: three girls and one guy on a bench. Girl 1 starts scratching the girl in the middle's back, next thing I know Girl 2 has linked fingers with girl one and they are both scratching the middle girl's back together. As if that weren't enough, the guy on the far end joins in. The middle girl had three people scratching her back and having a tickle fight, in the middle of sacrament.

3. Extreme temperatures. Girls wear skirts, guys wear suits. I get it, it's hard to find a happy medium. But when it's July and 85 degrees outside at 10:30 in the morning and I'm standing up teaching while having sweat drip down my forehead, I can only sympathize to the men who decided to class it up that day by wearing a full on suit.

4. Excessive crying. Some times when you're feelin the spirit you cry. When literally every week you make a comment in relief society and you can barley get through a sentence because you're sobbing so hard, I don't take you seriously.

2010-07-15T11:07:00.004-06:00

Today, I successfully sneezed with my eyes open.

My eyes did not pop out of my head, my brain did not explode. But my newly applied mascara refrained from smudging all over my face.

Also, I get to see these girls in 26 hours. I miss them. And it's quite possible that we haven't all been together since this picture was taken.

yes, please

2010-07-13T16:04:00.003-06:00

so celebrity crush time. haven't really had one in awhile, but this one is worth a blog post.

Adrian Grenier.

loved you in Drive Me Crazy.

wanted to be Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada (the only time I've ever wanted to be her).

and now I get endless amounts of you in Entourage.

Update

2010-07-10T14:55:00.003-06:00

I was way wrong on my picture estimate.

I'm up to 9,621 already.

I still have all of high school to go through. Hello 25 GB of pictures.

Summer Project

2010-07-09T23:13:00.005-06:00

Go through all 52 CDs and 8 DVDs full of pictures from the last 6 years of my life.

Organize into coherent folders, delete duplicate/crappy pictures, and burn into condensed DVDs.

My estimates:

At least 3 weeks of hardcore work on the project.

Probably 5,000 pictures.

Stay tuned for future posts of me being sentimental about past memories. It's bound to happen.

2010-07-05T12:35:00.003-06:00

I love this place.

More than any other place in the world.

I have amazing grandparents who let me use their cabin to get away for the weekend. I love them so. I think we're going on 12 years now and almost all of my favorite memories are at our cabin. I miss going up almost every weekend during the summer.

the twilight saga.

2010-07-02T00:47:00.004-06:00

I used to like these books. I'll admit it.

But over the last two years the team edward/team jacob war has made me fear for humanity.

I know this happened with the Beatles and MJ; but honestly, an overrated vampire-actor and his horrible sidekick who looks like she is tripped out on drugs in every interview?

Also, this just makes me angry. Robert Pattinson makes Time's 100 most influential people list. With only 100 spots open and over 300 million people to choose from in the US alone, how the hell did he make the cut?

2010-06-30T17:51:00.003-06:00

I'm organizing my music right now and noticed that the top played on my laptop and top played on my ipod are almost pretty different. I think it's interesting that depending on what device I use influences my music choices.

laptop

ipod

Books and Lists

2010-06-30T16:22:00.004-06:00

I sometimes get frustrated when I have an entire day off and there is nobody around to go have summer adventures with. But I've come to realize that I haven't had much downtime this summer and it's nice to have this forced quiet. I love to read and last summer I cranked out 11 books in just three months. I was impressed. So being a bit over enthusiastic I set a goal of 13 books this summer. Little did I know I would barely even be spending a minute in my own apartment let alone enough minutes to read 13 books. So far I've made it half way through one.

I've been stuck on a book called The Poisionwood Bible for just about two months now. The author, Barbra Kingsolver, also wrote The Three Bean Trees which was one of the great 11 of last year. I loved the book and safely assumed I'd love this one as well. I however did not anticipate the devotion it would take. I've been stuck in a reading slump and have shamefully started three other books that I didn't have the gumption to finish. But being stubborn as I am I'm determined to make it through this one and move on to the current 7 books I have on my shelf that are untouched, 4 that I want to read again, and another 5 on a list that I have yet to buy (the DI is my downfall, their cheap brand new books never let me catch up on what I already have in my reading queue).

Don't get me wrong, I love this book. I have just struggled lately with having enough free space in my head to fully devout to watching characters and plot lines develop fully, for truly enjoying the style of writing and pieces of myself that I can find in every book I read. I can't just sit down and read a book to read. I need to find something more in each one. Call me a nerd, I'll own up to it, but I feel like my life slightly shifts with each book I read. I put myself into the story almost as if I'm experiencing it first hand. I once had a teacher in high school who said "If you come away from watching a film or reading a book and your life hasn't changed in the slightest you just wasted a precious piece that you can never get back." I may have paraphrased that from what is left in my memory after three and a half dusty years. But I believe it to be true. The simplest of books can have an impact.

In honor of my books I've taken a couple hours out of the last two days and plopped down on a blanket in Adam's park and just read. It's been wonderful. What better way to enjoy the summer than reading a book in a park with a diet coke and no one else.

On a tangent: I don't understand people who can never be alone. I've had several roommates who are like this. Even one who struggled with sleeping by herself. It just doesn't make sense to me. How can you not crave that time where you don't have the opinions or demands of another person so you can just think for yourself and no one else? It's easy to forget how to make your own decisions and form your own voice. I read an article once on how texting is causing the new generations to become incapable of thinking for themselves. It argued that by having the opinions of everyone you know so easily at hand it made it easier to ask someone else than to think and try to ask yourself. It gave the example of going shopping. Even if you are by yourself it is easy to take a picture and ask your friends or your mom if what your buying is right "for you." I've done it; but I try not to. I think there is an art to thinking for yourself. It's scary and unknown but it's also liberating.

I have this annoying habit of creating lists. When I was younger my dad used to make lists for everything and I always made fun of him. But as the universe would have it I am my father's daughter and I'm pretty sure in my few short years of list writing I have greatly surpassed his lifetime of lists. My planner last school year consisted of at least three lists left on each week. That doesn't include the countless lists I threw away each day. And still in the summer when there isn't much to get done or remember, I can see two bulleted sticky notes and know that there are another two in the garbage that I threw away this morning.

It might not be all bad. My life could be comically documented in a compilation of my lists and looking at what was seen as important enough to write down or just how bad my memory is.

some days just suck.

2010-06-23T20:19:00.004-06:00

running up and down these helps. a little bit.

picture from here

Inspiring

2010-06-18T02:10:00.005-06:00

"This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."

-Walt Whitman

Sometimes we can be so consumed in life with what we're going to do today or tomorrow or in five years. We focus on finding the best of everything or being better than everyone around us. I think we lose track of what's simple and essential; what will truly make us happy.

2010-06-17T02:08:00.005-06:00

When it's 2 in the morning and while channel surfing I land on TLC to see a show like this, I'm reminded how normal I am.

Correction

2010-06-17T01:29:00.002-06:00

My dearest friend Braden Fizz Fisher introduced me to the song Wavin' Flag by K'naan.

I apologize for not giving him the credit he deserves. It's a great song and he is a great guy. An inexcusable mistake.

I've also found another version of this song thanks to miss Kenzie Hall. I'd say I like it equally as well.

Side note:

I was cleaning up my itunes today and was deleting a bunch of playlists of free songs I got from being a fan of itunes on facebook. Well I get to this play list of the ACL 2009 Online sampler and as I go to delete it the name K'naan catches my eye. Turns out I've had the original version of Wavin' Flag since September and I didn't even know it. I feel like this is a time where cool future me and mediocre present me weren't synched up.

Hellllo Blogging World

2010-06-14T16:29:00.003-06:00

So by request of two people, I'll update my blog (I feel special).

I'm in love with this song.

K'NAAN "Waving Flag" -Celebration mix- Dir: NABIL from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

Shout out to Kevin and the rest of the fellas next door for being in love with soccer and for letting my novice soccer love collide with theirs. It's been a great adventure. And there is still over a week to go. Plus how could you not want to play soccer after listening to this song?

Partners in Crime

2010-06-01T15:22:00.004-06:00

I was thinking today that I like to dress up on occasion. But after taking a trip through memory lane I'm starting to wonder if "dressing up" is just our normal.

2010-05-04T20:49:00.003-06:00

Dear Life,

I'm tired.

I'd really enjoy sleeping for more than three hours. Our recent routine of waking up every morning at 5:30 after not being able to fall asleep until 3 is starting to get on my nerves. Cut it out.

Thanks a million,

Meg

friday night activities

2010-04-27T13:34:00.002-06:00

we went pigeon catching.

this would be an activity involving nets, headlamps and lots of speed. it also includes tramping around barns in logan at midnight covering your rainboots in manure. and possible interaction with large agitated cows.

you're jealous.

Today In Articles

2010-04-27T11:08:00.003-06:00

The First:

"Bad Habits Can Age You By 12 Years" from Time

This new study followed 5,000 Brits for 20 years only to conclude that if you smoke, don't exercise, drink and eat crappy foods it can take 12 years off your life.

Really. We had to spend 20 years of detailed scientific study to figure that one out.

The sad thing is I also saw this on the news, Yahoo and MSN. Apparently living healthy is breaking new.

Second: (On a more serious note)

Homeless Good Samaritan Left to Die on NYC Street from Yahoo

This article makes me sad. In multiple sociology classes and my interpersonal and intercultural communications classes we talked about the bystandard effect or diffusion of responsibility. It's nice to imagine that any "normal" person would stop and help someone in need. But research shows that most people don't. They think that others will stop and help or they make up an excuse why it's not their problem.

This makes me lose a little bit of faith in humanity.

Third: (another gem from Time)

One Year Later: 5 lessons from the H1N1 Pandemic

They're list of 5 is ridiculous. My list:

1. Be wary of the media, they like to inflate things for ratings.

2. We sorta overreacted.

3. We rely heavily on vaccine cure-alls when most couldn't care less about basic hygine.

4. Our nation thrives on the thrill of a widespread panic.

5. Who knew a pandemic would result in cliche halloween costumes.

this last week in the nerd world

2010-04-23T13:36:00.002-06:00

So a major announcement came last Friday. It came from the journalism gods themselves. The AP Stylebook.

For those of you not familiar with the AP Stylebook, it is considered the bible of all journalism. Literally. If you are in anyway involved with any sort of journalism, you will use the bible. And frequently. It has references for anything imaginably possibly. And it would indeed tell you that "imaginably" is actually a word.

Now despite my current repulsion for journalism (which it should be noted that I can slowly feel this hatred lifting) a huge announcement last Friday had me secretly shouting for joy.

It's official. The it is now proper to use "web site," not "Web site."

I'm not lying. In every article ever written about the internet, if it ever said "website" the reporter was wrong. Now while the AP Stylebook is highly revered, there is a secret hatred for some of the entries that they stand by despite the changing times. Among the other dreaded entries are using "Internet" instead of "internet" and "e-mail" instead of "email."

So while all of you normal people were being bombarded with news on a volcano you can't pronounce and cheating celebrities that just won't go away, the journalism world was throwing a party for our small victory over the man.

how looking for a job can drive you towards a mental breakdown

2010-04-22T17:50:00.004-06:00

-after sending out over 20 resumes with no response (past scam repliers and people who want a 4 year degree) you begin to wonder if you've misspelled your email address or phone number despite your obsessive spell checking and proofing.

-you've found 7 websites you can use to track job postings. three are filled with scams and postings in the Logan area for a job in San Francisco, two are from the university website (hello 500 other applicants for each job) and two are run by the town's "papers" and you obsessively check each one at least three times a day. no exaggeration.

-on top of the obsessive checking, you know the general times that each website posts new openings.

-after reading over your resume and seeing that you have three years office/clerical work, four years direct customer service experience, and a list of jobs that show your extreme dedication to a company you begin to wonder what type of super skilled robot secretaries are applying to all the same jobs as you.

-after making the decision to be an adult and fend for yourself by staying away from home for the summer you realize that school is over in two weeks which means in two week you're being laid off. you can just hear your parents saying "I told you so" even though you live 60 miles away.

-while contemplating all of this you start to believe in the job fairy and may be secretly doing sacrifices of highlighters and post-it notes in the dark of the night.

2010-04-22T12:47:00.002-06:00

Image from here.

Thank you Netflix.

I have a suspicion that if I grew up in the '80s I'd probably be in this show.

Also Jason Segel is a babe in his younger years. Now he's just a tad chubby.

Not to mention James Franco.

And Seth Rogen looks like my cousin.

Today's Gem

2010-04-22T12:45:00.003-06:00

1. It may be hard to see but yes those are faded, manpri overalls.

2. That is indeed a red button up dress shirt under the overalls.

3. Let's top off the outfit with Jesus sandals.

2010-04-21T19:57:00.002-06:00

Boys on campus who ride skateboards,

You aren't cool and you put fear in everyone who has ankles.

just some great people

2010-04-12T14:27:00.005-06:00

These people:

Who dress up like this with me.

And then ring in my birthday with a candle in a slurpee in the freezing cold.

And these fellas who figured out that a midnight scooter ride is the perfect bday present.

And these people for giving me life. And funny memories.

And this man for driving up from St. George to surprise me.

Another great birthday.

2010-04-08T11:20:00.003-06:00

I'm sitting in class and my professor starts talking about an article on green living by a guy named Allan Wiseman.

My first thought, "That guy had a really weird sounding last name."

My second thought, "Crap that's my last name."

dusting myself off

2010-04-01T15:00:00.002-06:00

it's been quite sometime. i have no appologies. i needed a break. i felt blogging was starting to become pointless. it most likely still is. oh well.

1. i hate the snow.

especially the 5 inches i woke up to.

the world is not welcoming april kindly.

2. diet coke.

i'm addicted to you.

i wouldn't want to be addicted to anything else

3. netflix is taking over my life.

and i've only been signed up for 19 hours.

4. modern family.

you give me a good laugh.

good thing i miss you every wednesday night.

because then i have something to do every thursday.

5. garfunkle and oates.

your videos are physical representations of my thoughts.

6. pregnancy creeps me out.

there is a living being swimming inside of you.

7. craigslist job postings

make me lose faith in humanity

8. the AIDS crisis

my current research topic for class.

holy crap.

we suck at loving one another.

9. oh food.

you're my vice.

i can't get enough of your

cheesecakey/peanutbuttery/bready/savory/chocolatey

goodness.

10. my current movie funk.

the last four movies i watched with jessie were total downers.

netflix, please save me.

Not to Complain...

2010-03-02T22:52:00.003-07:00

But it's been a sucky couple of weeks. So if someone wanted to cheer me up they could get me this or this. And possibly keep them until I moved into a house in 2 months.

Thanks.

A Thank You Note

2010-02-23T14:53:00.002-07:00

Dear Bookstore Worker at Book Hampton,

I stumbled through your doors on one of my rare days off after walking through the picture perfect Sag Harbor. I'm a lover of books and you were a small over priced bookstore, but that didn't matter. I needed a good read.

You recommended a few books, all of which I bought, but the one I want to thank you the most for was The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. Oh what a pleasure this book was. I was scarred at first, you told me it was a unique read that has been translated from it's original French. I was a little put off, the last translated piece I read was a struggle to make it through. But I decided to expand my reading repertoire and go for it.

Thank goodness.

The witty, sarcastic and smartly written book changed my view of reading. And to put it frankly, I recommend the book to my twin soul Jessie who has said it is changing her life. She is only 40 pages in.

Just as I thought my pride and love of Muriel had reached it's capacity, I wandered in to Border's the other day. I had no expectations of what I was going to find, and then I stumbled on the little gem called Gourmet Rhapsody. I started it today and I've fallen down the rabbit hole in love with words again.

So thank you, Mr. Bookstore Employee, for convincing me to step into the world of words that Ms. Barbery has so uniquely organized.

Sincerely,

A Humbled Reader

Just a little something

2010-02-18T12:55:00.002-07:00

I love the Olympics. And here's why:

-The way the entire world is doing the same thing, together, for two weeks.

-The outfits. US opening ceremony, horrible. US Ski team snow outfits, looks like a pajamia set. US Snowboard team outfist, kickin. Canadian snow outfits, I'd buy them. Czech Republic opening ceremony, sweet pants. Austria's opening ceremony, classy. Norway's curling team outfits, best of them all.

-How I feel a sense of camaraderie and pride in my country again.

-How I can feel happy and excited for another country than my own when they win. (Hello first Canadian gold in their own teritory!)

-How I have instant entertainment every night for two weeks.

-The historic moments that will live on: Shaun White and Lindsey Vonn's golds, China finally defeating the Russians in pairs figure skating, Bilodeau's Canadian gold, Hannah Kearney's women's freestyle gold, the US's first medal in the Nordic, Paerson's downhill crash, Georgia's tragic loss, the almost laughable opening ceremonies (punk tap dancers, a youtube beat poet, torch lighting malfunction, an oversized christmas light polar bear, and whale's that were actually pretty sweet), and realizing just how many famous people you never knew came from Canada.

So here's to a great first week of the olympics, a shout out to the good ole U. S. of A and the perfect excuse to watch endless amount of tv while feeling like you're contributing to the world.

Poetry and Prose

2010-02-11T14:40:00.003-07:00

I have a love. It is probably one of the only things in this world that can move my emotions so freely. It's poetry.

I used to write a little bit in high school and I thought I was fairly talented. However, I gave it up because I would much prefer to read the works of masters of words than my amature musings.

I don't know why poetry. There is just something about the perfect flow of words, the type of meter used and the raw, pure emotion displayed. I've started to try and get back into poetry and expand my pallet.

So in honor of the rediscovery of this love of mine, I'm going to share a few of my favorite poems over time.

Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe: I love Poe. I always have. I had to do an in depth paper on him in high school and he is just fascinating. Especially when you look at his collected works. The fact that he can go from something as dark and twisted as The Tell-Tale Heart (a favorite short story) to something as warm and endearing as Annabel Lee is proof that he was a master.

Evening Hawk by Robert Penn Warren: I studied this in AP English as a practice essay for the big test. I fell in love (maybe because I got a 9/9 on the essay which was unheard of). I'm not the biggest fan of over-analyzing classical or modern works which tends to happen a lot in English classes. But, I believe you can find deep meanings in works if you take just a second look to see if there is something more. That's what happened here.

Hurling Crowbirds at Mockingbars (Hope is Not a Course of Action) by Buddy Wakefield: This one is new. At the beginning of the school year there was an event where the group Elephant Engine High Dive Revival came and put on a performance in our amphitheather. It was something I can't put into words. They were a group of five traveling slam poets who had more credentials, awards and talent that pretty much anyone their age. I chose this poem from the many great ones performed that night because it contains a line that I fell in love with. "Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past." Think about it.

The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe: Did I mention how much I love Poe? This is one of those things that everyone loves in school and everyone hates (like Frankenstein). But me. The repetition and the intricate language Poe uses to create the story in your mind. I just can't get enough.

I could go on and on. But I should get back to work, so I'll stop there for now.

I'm in love

2010-01-30T14:32:00.001-07:00

It's Saturday and I'm in the library. All day. Until it closes at six. Yay for procrastination and trying to make up from it.

This is what's keeping me sane.

Mat Weddle's cover of Hey Ya by Outkast.

Also this lovely piece. I adore Matt Costa.

Jack Johnson and Matt Costa's Lullaby

Where All the Old People Party

2010-01-21T22:26:00.007-07:00

I have these things called friends. I know it's shocking. Megan has friends. And to top it all off, these friends are girls. There are 6 of them. Plus Rob.

Tomorrow we are making a trek of sorts down to our roommate Mollie's wedding. In St. George.

Now I will be the first to admit, I was not a happy camper about this shindig. Two weeks into the new semester, dirt poor, stressed out, and in the dead of winter. Now my mom is probably laughing while she's reading this (if she even does) because all through Christmas break she hear "Blah blah blah, I don't want to go. Waa waa waa." But I will eat my words, I'm excited.

Nothing has changed. It's till the second week of the semester, I'm still poor, and we're still driving in the middle of a snow storm. But what I have to look forward to is some serious bonding time, lots of new pictures, a hotel with a hot tub and embarrassing moments.

So tomorrow at 3 pm, we'll be started on our journey. I might have bought my little pony fruit snacks and goldfish for the ride. I also might have bought 3 magazines to read instead of my three textbooks. And I might just be extremely excited to use my new powder blue suitcase I bought from the DI for $4.

And mom, I'd like to have you know that there has been endless torment towards me from the girls because I started packing yesterday. I don't know where this little habit came from (either your OCD husband or you the worrier), but the fact that I have to start packing obscene amounts of time in advance and how I have to unpack and pack everything again about 3 times is just annoying. I'm blaming it on you two.

On a slight side note, I've been attempting to put together a playlist for the ride. So far I have zero songs. I might just have to wing it. But there are some gems I'd like to share that I've been obsessed with lately.

Matt and Kim - Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare
MGMT - Kids
Phoenix - 1901 This one you may have noticed from a recent car commercial. To that I say gah! I hate when commercials steal good songs.
Passion Pit - Sleepy Head Remix